thoughts on healing

The Universe speaks in myriad ways, but one of the most salient to me is through patterns, repetition, synchronicity. When something novel comes up in multiple ways in a short time period, that’s my clue to pay attention. Lately, the idea of healing being an inside job, rather than something granted to us by something or someone outside ourselves, has come to my attention in multiple ways. So here I am, reflecting.

empowered.
     I’ve noticed, at times in myself, and with society at large, that we are often seeking something, someone outside of ourselves to “fix” us, to make us better, more whole, to bring us to that next best shiny version of ourselves. Capitalism thrives on sending us messages of not being enough and needing to buy the next product to make us better. Whether from our childhoods or society at large, we all have received messaging at one point or another that we need to be “fixed.” Personally, I grew up in a religious Christian community that, while perhaps well intended, held the belief that humans are sinful and in need of saving; and that the way to be saved is by belief in an external, illusive male God.
       As a young adult studying humanities, world religions and absorbing all I could about spirituality and different cultures, I learned that there was a much more compassionate way of seeing humanity and myself. Profound in its simplicity, I learned that our true nature is Love; that there are as many ways to heal as there are names for God (Brahman, Love, Goddess, Self, Divine, Source, Shakti, the Tao, Great Spirit, Universal Consciousness, etc…); and within that, endless ways to express and cultivate our unique connection this divinity within. 

garden of Oneness.
     Yoga philosophy sees no separation between our Self and the Divine, and no hierarchy between us. It assumes that on a Soul level, we are all equal, we are all One. And not only are we all One, we are all Divine, sacred, interconnected and our true nature is Love. 
     Said differently, we are all fragments of the same light source, waves of the same ocean, and together we are on this weird and beautiful journey of being human. Within that, we can be inspired by the unique way we each reflect that same light, like a prism casting rainbow colors. Or, looking to nature, we are each a vital but different part of the same garden, contributing to the overall well being of the garden in our own unique ways.  As the beloved Anandamayi Ma says~

“I find one vast garden spread out all over the universe. All plants, all human beings, all higher mind bodies are about in this garden in various ways, each has his own uniqueness and beauty. Their presence and variety give me great delight. Every one of you adds with his special feature to the glory of the garden.”

     We are deeply interconnected, energetically, physically, emotionally in ways seen and unseen. When we each show up fully as ourselves, the vibrancy of the garden is maintained. Ram Dass said “We are all just walking each other home.” If we are already Divine and our highest Self is loving, we only need to look within for what we seek. Although we may choose to if we wish, We don’t have to go through a priest to access God. We are God. We have everything we need.
     But just as a garden needs the variety of other plants and pollinators, sometimes we need teachers to help us reach our potential. Teachers who can teach us the most will show us how to keep tuning in to our inner sources of wisdom. So despite messages we receive in many forms about our inadequacy, it’s worth the loving reminder, that we are not broken, and already have access to all that we seek.

trust the gold.
     Meditation teacher Tara Brach frames this idea of our inherent goodness, and worthiness as trusting the gold. Trusting that we are, deep down, essentially good. Trusting that despite our flaws, (and maybe even because of them) our true nature is Love. Does that mean we always act like it? Hell no. But is a diamond still a diamond when it’s covered in mud? Hell yes it is. And the best mentors and healers will help us see this. The best teachers are kind of like expert mirror polishers, helping us to see clearly the truth of who we are, so that we can better reflect the light. After all, Guru means, one who guides from darkness to light.

Perfect babes.
     Flaws and all- we are perfect, just as we are, in this moment in time on our journey.
     The idea of being perfect now, flaws and all, may sound like a stretch or contradictory, but consider the newborn. We wouldn’t fault the newborn for not knowing how to read or pay taxes. Why are we any different when we make perceived mistakes, or when we can’t seem to change a habit? “Well, I am an adult, I should know better than to keep making this mistake over and over” you may say. Sure, we have more worldly knowledge than a newborn but we are still learning. We are all at different stages of growth and development and making the best decisions we can based on our current knowledge and beliefs.

     It’s true that we often make the same mistakes over and over, but this is inherent in the process of learning. Observe any child learning how to write- it is a process. So too, we are in our own process of learning how to handle our emotions, how to live in a way that reduces unintentional harm caused to ourselves and others by our actions.  And we do have a responsibility to continue this growth and learning in order to reduce harm we cause to ourselves and others. Ahimsa, or non-harming, is a fundamental principle to live by (Yama) in yoga philosophy. But rather than beating ourselves up for mistakes, if we are able to zoom out, take a wider perspective, and see ourselves more compassionately, studies show we are actually more capable of making the changes we wish to see.


sous chefs of our own healing.
     Just as there are a million names and concepts for “God,” there are a million paths to healing.  No one path would work for all. Within that is a gift. The gift of endless creative opportunity to facilitate one’s own spiritual growth and healing. The image of a cook in a kitchen making a dish with lots of spices and ingredients comes to mind. We get to choose a little of this, a little of that based on the flavor we like and what we are craving. And whether we are an amazing cook or in the camp of being awesome at ‘just add hot water’, we are, in this moment, fully empowered to be sous chefs in bringing about our own growth; to tune into our inner knowing for answers, to gather in our teachers. In this way, we are active participants in our healing, and can creatively orchestrate for ourselves who we want to let in on our journey. We don’t need to wait around to be saved or given Wonka’s golden ticket. We have the keys to the whole damn chocolate factory! (And when we misplace them, our teachers are there to help us find them again, because let’s be honest they want chocolate too). 

glitter and mud.
     As for our flaws, hurts, hang ups? All that stuff we are healing from? The beloved teacher and Buddhist political activist Thich Nhat Hanh described these as the mud that creates the lotus. In fact, he wrote a whole book about it- No Mud, No Lotus. In it, he highlights the way the beautiful fragrant lotus flower rises up and blooms from muddy, dark swamps. Similarly, the messiness in life can sometimes be the fertilizer to beautiful new growth. While we would never wish suffering on ourselves or another, and in fact devote significant efforts to relieve suffering in ourselves and in the world, there are times when struggle can lead to new perspective, growth, and greater compassion. After I suddenly lost my mama at 18, I now have deep compassion for other women who have experienced losing their mothers and really anyone experiencing loss. Each of us has experienced pain that gives us inside perspective to what another person in a similar situation is going through. And that in turn allows us to deepen our connection to one another, to see beyond our personal bubbles and into our shared humanity.
     As for all of our mistakes, and the things we wish we would have done differently? Maybe instead of beating ourselves up for these things, we can view them as adding a little extra flavor to our character and our lives, or, women’s coach Sherry Salada puts it, these things are “glitter on the path.”
     And on these glittery  paths, I believe that the basis of healing always comes down to love. It’s not about spiritual bypassing or pretending everything is perfect. The opposite- love is what allows us to hold space for the messiness, the imperfection, first in ourselves, then in the world around us.

more right than wrong.
       From my viewpoint, until the moment we die, there are myriad more things going right than wrong. There are trillions of cells in your body doing exactly what they are supposed to in order to keep your body alive at any given moment. Your immune system is constantly scanning and fighting off infection. Your endocrine system orchestrates  a complex array of hormones to keep the functions of your organs in balance. Your sensory systems are continually taking in and filtering information about your environment. Your breath flows and your heart beats without any conscious effort on your part. Down to a cellular level, we are being supported by our bodies.
       Even if we experience illness and dysfunction to these systems, the body is seeking to re-balance the best it can. When one muscle isn’t working properly, all the surrounding muscles work harder to support it. When one of our five senses is impaired, the others tend to get stronger. Our bodies are continually creating balance and homeostasis within us at all levels to the best of its ability in countless ways seen and unseen. I believe, by mere fact of being human, we are hardwired for healing.

     Remember this next time you walk into a doctors office and your issues are neatly summarized to you. Remember this next time you go to a yoga class and see someone standing on their head and you start to compare yourself. Remember this next time you feel less than, not enough, too broken. 

Take those thoughts, remind them that-
you are whole and perfectly imperfect
you deeply supported in a garden of Oneness
you can trust the gold within,
you are your own best healer,
you are not meant to do it alone,
you are hardwired for healing

Or you can just tell them that the messy imperfections in your life are the glittery mud that you are making your favorite cake with!



…or something like that :)


You are perfect. You are loved. You are deeply connected, endlessly capable, and a force of harmonious nature.


Love,
Sierra